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Johann Hari: The true story behind this war is not the one Israel is telling

There is a very good article in The Independent by Johann Hari about the narrative being created in relation to the ongoing slaughter of Palestinians by the Zionist Aggressor. Here's a little extract:

There will now be a war over the story of this war. The Israeli government says, "We withdrew from Gaza in 2005 and in return we got Hamas and Qassam rockets being rained on our cities. Sixteen civilians have been murdered. How many more are we supposed to sacrifice?" It is a plausible narrative, and there are shards of truth in it, but it is also filled with holes. If we want to understand the reality and really stop the rockets, we need to rewind a few years and view the run-up to this war dispassionately.

The Israeli government did indeed withdraw from the Gaza Strip in 2005 – in order to be able to intensify control of the West Bank. Ariel Sharon's senior adviser, Dov Weisglass, was unequivocal about this, explaining: "The disengagement [from Gaza] is actually formaldehyde. It supplies the amount of formaldehyde that is necessary so that there will not be a political process with the Palestinians... this whole package that is called the Palestinian state has been removed from our agenda indefinitely."

Ordinary Palestinians were horrified by this, and by the fetid corruption of their own Fatah leaders, so they voted for Hamas. It certainly wouldn't have been my choice – an Islamist party is antithetical to all my convictions - but we have to be honest. It was a free and democratic election, and it was not a rejection of a two-state solution. The most detailed polling of Palestinians, by the University of Maryland, found that 72 per cent want a two-state solution on the 1967 borders, while fewer than 20 per cent want to reclaim the whole of historic Palestine. So, partly in response to this pressure, Hamas offered Israel a long, long ceasefire and a de facto acceptance of two states, if only Israel would return to its legal borders.

Rather than seize this opportunity and test Hamas's sincerity, the Israeli government reacted by punishing the entire civilian population. It announced that it was blockading the Gaza Strip in order to "pressure" its people to reverse the democratic process. The Israelis surrounded the Strip and refused to let anyone or anything out. They let in a small trickle of food, fuel and medicine – but not enough for survival. Weisglass quipped that the Gazans were being "put on a diet". According to Oxfam, only 137 trucks of food were allowed into Gaza last month to feed 1.5 million people. The United Nations says poverty has reached an "unprecedented level." When I was last in besieged Gaza, I saw hospitals turning away the sick because their machinery and medicine was running out. I met hungry children stumbling around the streets, scavenging for food.

It was in this context – under a collective punishment designed to topple a democracy – that some forces within Gaza did something immoral: they fired Qassam rockets indiscriminately at Israeli cities. These rockets have killed 16 Israeli citizens. This is abhorrent: targeting civilians is always murder. But it is hypocritical for the Israeli government to claim now to speak out for the safety of civilians when it has been terrorising civilians as a matter of state policy.

Read the whole thing...

Islam and Political Activism

In light of the ongoing massacre of Palestinians by the Zionist aggressor, an article I wrote in 2006 seems rather pertinent. Here's an edited version of that article:

In the name of God, the Most Merciful and the Source of All Mercy.

I testify that there is no deity worthy of worship but God and that Muhammad is the slave and Messenger of God.

All praise is due to God, the One, the All-Knowing and All-Powerful who favoured his creation with Islam and did send Muhammad with His Message to all creation and revealed to him the Qur’an which is guidance sure without doubt to those who fear Allah. (2:1)

To proceed:

These are the days of shame and dishonour for the Muslims living in Western Europe and North America. Our lands, our families, our brothers and sisters living all over the world are violated by the unbelievers on a daily basis yet we remain silent when we can speak, passive when we can act and divert our gaze when we should look and weep at the horrors borne by the Ummah.

In light of this state of comatose which has infected the Muslims living in Western Europe and North America, I feel it is absolutely necessary to remind myself and all Muslims in the West of the words of the Glorious Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings of God be upon him.

God tells us in the Qur’an that the Muslims are the best nation which has ever been raised for the guidance of mankind. You enjoin good, forbid evil, and believe in Allah. (3:110). It is clear from this verse that the best nation practises three things: enjoins the good, forbids the evil, believes in Allah. Ibn Kathir, in his classical Tafsir, said that whoever acquires these qualities, will have a share in this praise. It is further related from Umar bin Al-Khattab, may God be pleased with him, that he said regarding this verse of the Glorious Qur’an: “Whoever likes to be among this praised Ummah, let him fulfil the condition that God has set in this verse”.

Let us also remember how God defines the believers:

The believers, men and women, are protectors one of another, they enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity and obey Allah and His apostle. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power Wise. [9:71]

It is clear from the above verse that one of the important characteristics of anyone who calls himself or herself a practicing Muslim, is that he or she enjoins good and forbids evil. In addition to observing the prayer and charity, such a person also has to obey God and His Apostle, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Thus, let us heed the command of our Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, as narrated to us by Hudhayfah:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “By Him in Whose hand my soul is, you must enjoin the good and forbid the evil, or Allah will certainly soon send punishment from Himself to you. Then you will make supplication and not receive an answer.” [Tirmidhi]

While there are many more verses and hadiths that can be easily quoted on the subject it should be clear to every sincere Muslim that enjoining the good and forbidding the evil is, in the words of Sheikh Abdullah Yusuf Ali, “an essential duty of the Muslim Ummah and one of the main purposes for which it has been raised”. Let us also remember that the way to Paradise lies through enjoining the good and forbidding the evil for God says in the Glorious Qur’an:

Triumphant are those who turn repentant to God, those who serve Him, those who praise Him, those who fast, those who bow down, those who fall prostrate in worship, those who enjoin the good and who forbid the wrong and those who keep the limits ordained by Allah. O Prophet, give glad tidings to such believers! [9:112]

After reading the above you may ask “What is this “enjoining the good and forbidding the evil”? The answer to this question is reported in Sahih Muslim. Abu Sa'id al-Khudri narrated the following from the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him:

I heard the Messenger of Allah as saying: He who amongst you sees something abominable should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart and that is the least of faith.

Thus we see that we should enjoin the good with the action, the word and our hearts. No doubt many Muslims in Western Europe and North America are aware of this hadith. However, they do nothing to act upon the command contained therein and in all the verses and hadiths quoted above.

Unless you actively practise enjoining the good and forbidding the evil you are not practising your Islam to the full! You may say to me that you have no strength to do so either by word or by deed and thus you only abhor the trials of the Muslim Ummah in your heart. I say to you that in such a case you are a hypocrite or an ignorant one who needs education! Know then that in the societies of Western Europe and the North America you will not be punished for speaking the truth no expressing your opinions in a lawful manner through demonstrations, picketing, lobbying, voting intelligently in appropriate circumstances, letter writing and speeches, educational debates and a myriad of other political activities. All of these are actions that are available to you and you can do this without fear for your life, your liberty or your property. All it takes is effort on your part. Now you are no longer ignorant. Know then that if you refrain from doing this then you are a hypocrite and your supplications will not be answered by God as related in the hadith quoted above, for if you do nothing to help your brother in Palestine or your sister in Iraq or your mother in Chechnya, then your supplication to God is mere hypocrisy and God hates the hypocrites!

And if you say that you are prevented from action through fear of what other would say about you or what your neighbours and community would think about you, I would say to you “Awake, my brother or sister, and protect your soul!”. Fear God and not the people, for it is God that will take you to account and hand out judgement. If you are prevented from doing what God has commanded you to do by your fear of people’s reaction then this is the beginning of shirk and the road to the Hellfire. Perhaps the advice of Luqman the Sage to his son will be of help to you in this situation, for he said: “O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just and forbid what is wrong, and bear with patient constancy whatever happens to you; for this is firmness of purpose in the conduct of affairs.” [31:17] It is implicit in this advice, which God has brought to our knowledge through the Glorious Qur’an, that enjoining the good and forbidding the evil will cause those who are devious, forsaken and hate the way of God to cause difficulty for the practising believer, yet if you are firm in purpose, God will not suffer the reward of the righteous to perish [7:170].

And if you say to me that political activity will threaten community cohesion, I will say to you that this is a fallacious argument and was the argument of the Jews in the Nazi Germany as the regime turned against them and slaughtered them by the millions. Nobody will stand up to protect you and yours until you stand up yourself and encourage and motivate others to stand with you.

If you say to me that one should first learn the basics of Islam before proceeding to enjoin the good and forbid the evil, I will say to you that you should seek knowledge before making such misguided statements since enjoining good and forbidding evil is one of the basics of Islam as is clear from the verses of the Glorious Qur’an quoted above.

And if you say to me that there is nothing that can be done in terms of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil until such time as the Islamic State is established, I will say to you that you are a fool and a disbeliever in God’s promise to Muslims for God in His Everlasting Glory has promised those of you who believe and do good deeds that He will most surely make them to succeed the present rulers in the Earth as He made their ancestors before them, and that He will establish for them their religion, the one which He has chosen for them, and that He will change their present state of fear into peace and security. [24:55] Thus, working for the Islamic State means enjoining the good and forbidding evil and not waiting for someone to establish the state first and then suddenly begin forbidding the evil and enjoining the good.

And if you say to me that nothing can be done to better the situation of Muslims in other countries by the actions of Muslims living in Western Europe and North America, I will say to you that you are bordering on disbelief and have no understanding of the reality of life in the society you live in. Know that the power to make something happen lies always with God irrespective of your action or inaction. By taking part in the political activities for the benefit of the Muslims living in other countries you are expressing you sincerity and adherence to God’s command to enjoin the good and forbid the evil, you are spending your deeds in the cause of God and are earning your place in the Paradise. In the worldly domain, lawful political activity is an essential part of a democratic process and plays a huge part in educating the public and forming public opinion. Before you open your mouth to mock my words, you should read about the history of establishment of the Zionist State in Palestine or the lobbying practices employed to the great success by the modern supporters of that state to propagate the interests of that state.

To conclude I say that a Muslim who truly practises his faith is a politically active Muslim. If you say you are a practising Muslim and you shun political activity then you are lying to yourself and others and are endangering your soul.

All that is right is from God and all that is wrong is from me.

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Emergency Demo & Picket in support of Gaza

There are two events happening today:

1. Monday 29 December 4.00pm – 6.00pm - Demo

Protests opposite Israeli Embassy - Kensington High Street

Nearest tube: High Street Kensington

Protests organised by PSC, Palestine Return Centre (PRC), Palestinian Forum of Britain (PFB), British Muslim Initiative (BMI), Stop the War, Friends of al Aqsa, Muslim Association of Britain (MAB), Respect, Islamic Human Rights Commission.

2. Monday 29th December - 1.30 pm - Picket

"A Call to Muslim Armies to Defend & Liberate Palestine" (Although I personally doubt the relevance of the theme of this picket)

At Egyptian Embassy

Nearest Tube - Marble Arch/Green Park

Organised by Hizb-ut-Tahrir

Internet Woes

My home Internet connection got cut off today - Vodafone Egypt have not delivered the bill since I signed up with them in November and consequently my connection has been cut off for non-payment. As to why the Vodafone Egypt have not managed to deliver the bill - it is impossible to discover, since they had my home address and the postman knows me.

Anyways, I had to go to the Internet cafe to try to get a Skype connection to tell my wife that I was having troubles with the Internet. There is an Internet cafe quite close to my house. I went in and asked how fast the connection was. The owner said "Oh, very fast!" I asked what the actual speed of it was. "2Mbit" - he said. "That is not fast. That is barely enough for a descent conversation over Skype." - I said. "Oh, no. This is very fast," - the owner insisted. When I got to the computer, I realised that the owner did not tell me the whole story - next to the computer was an internet switch, splitting the connection between 16 different computers in the cafe. End result - I got a "timed out" message while trying to open "google.co.uk". Skype was not even a possibility.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with the representatives of the Institute before I came over here. I was asking whether it was possible to get a fast Internet connection in Egypt. One gentleman got somewhat upset, telling me that I was coming to Egypt, not some backward country, and that Egypt was a leader in technology in the Middle East. Of course they had fast Internet connections. And in any case, he said, I could always use the Internet connection in the Institute, which was fast enough. I should have asked what his definition of "fast" was - the actual connection speed in the Institute is 100 KBits per second. That is about slightly more than double the speed of a dial-up connection. "Leader in technology" indeed...

Nottingham hit by "legal pee prunk"

Oh, this made me laugh soooo much.

(Source: BBC News) - The signs, which were put up by pranksters in and around Nottingham, are designed to look official.

They feature a toilet sign and include the words: "Public Urination Permitted After 7.30pm".

Nottingham City Council is now urging the public to ignore the notices as it sets about removing them.

The prank also featured a laminated note, headed with the logo of Nottingham City Council, which said the scheme was aimed at reducing the mess faced by residents outside their homes.

The notice reads: "In an attempt to reduce late night public nuisance, during the holiday period, Nottingham City Council has designated several public urination areas across the city.

This urination area will be cleaned daily between the hours of 5am and 6am.

Saving Electricity in Egypt

Living in an Egyptian tower block is fun. Apart from regular doses of drilling and construction work, that tends to take place close to 1 o'clock at night, for some strange reason, music blasting through every hole of the neighbouring flat and a regular shouting match between the couple living a couple of floors above, I can always rely on the lift to spice up my otherwise uneventful daily life.

The block I live in has two lifts - one stops on even floors only and the other stops on odd floors only (although both do stop on the owner's floor).

The lifts do not work all the time. In the morning, around 6.30 am, when kids are going to school, both lifts work. When I go to my classes, around 11 am, the lift serving odd floors is not working and the lift for even floors is working - basically I have to walk down. Since there's no lighting on the floors or above the steps, this is a somewhat adventurous experience comprised primarily of guessing the location of the last step and of avoiding a fall having missed that last step for the nth time. The whole thing is designed, I presume, to develop my night vision skills. Real environmental-friendly like.

When I come back from my class, around 2 pm, the lift serving even floors is not working and the lift serving odd floors is - so, at least, I get to go up in the lift. In the evening, both lifts work - although the lighting on the floors is rarely ever on at any time of the day.

Are the British banks ganging up on Muslim Charities?

You may, or may not, know but in November Lloyds TSB attempted to force Islamic Bank of Britain (IBB) to close Interpal's bank accounts held at the IBB. Lloyds Bank originally denied this, but, after a letter from Lloyds TSB was produced to the public proving the opposite, issued a different statement. The details of that story can be found here, with later backpedalling by Lloyds here. While at the moment it is not clear what is happening with the Interpal's accounts, there has been a somewhat disturbing development.

On 19th December 2008 Ummah Welfare Trust has issued press release stating that they have been given a 30-day notice by Barclays that their accounts will also be closed.

Now, is that a beginning of a pattern?

Internet Mayhem

Well, as of yesterday the Internet pretty much died. I initially thought that it had something to do with Vodafone and the fact that I am yet to pay my bill, but, having managed to get onto BBC’s news website today, I now know that my connection troubles are due to the fact that three out of four Internet and Phone cables connecting Alexandria (and by extension the rest of Egypt, Middle East, India and Pakistan) have been cut. These cables carry 90% of all Internet and phone traffic between the Middle East, India, Pakistan and Europe and US. Now, given that this is a second outage in the last 12 months you got to suspect foul play. I have done some research on the last outage – two out of the four Alexandria's cables was cut then. Despite various unsubstantiated rumours, speculating that the last outage has been caused by a ship’s anchor and/or seismic event, the actual cause of the last outage remains unknown to the general public – cameras monitoring the sea over the cable have not recorded any ships and apparently there is no record of any seismic event taking place at that time. This time around the outage is far more serious. There are once again unsubstantiated rumours of an anchor or seismic event, but one has to wonder...

Queuing

The concept of queuing is non-existent in the Egyptian society, unless it is enforced by a loud-mouthed policeman who is usually quite inconsistent in applying it to those who try to push through nonetheless. As a result, I have learned a number of methods of preventing people from jumping ahead of me from the brothers here.

The first one is for the supermarket – or any other place that provides trolleys for the customers (such as airport). Once you done with your shopping and trolley is loaded with your stuff, you pick a checkout lane that is least crowded and queue. Until you get to the actual checkout there is absolutely nothing you can do about people who push past the rest of the queue with a couple of items in their baskets and try to pay the cashier while he or she is serving someone else – since nobody else appears to mind, you would look a bit out of place trying to voice your discontent. Once you finally get to the actual checkout, you do the following: you enter the lane in front of your trolley and then turn the trolley perpendicular to the checkout in such a way that there is no way anyone can get past the trolley ( a barricade, literally), only then do you start to unload your trolley. This method is very effective – although it does not deter people from trying. On a number of occasions I had a few people literally ram the trolley head on trying to get past it, noting a totally surprised look on their face when the trolley did not budge and I did not move it out of their way. Unphazed, they usually move on to the next checkout and try to get past without queuing there.

In places where there are no checkout lanes, such as immigration office or telephone exchange, teamwork is essential as there is no way to singlehandedly ward off queue-jumpers. I had to have my visa extended. Three brothers and I travelled to Alexandria’s immigration office. People generally do not queue to a window – they mob it. A half circle forms around the window with a number of people shouting for clerk’s attention at the same time and if you calmly wait for your turn you would be waiting a very long time. The trick is to move to the window in a trio, then form a half circle around the window using elbows to block out anyone else and then to calmly speak to the clerk. Even then you going to have people trying to push through, shove their documents into the window while shouting at the clerk. Ignore them, while trying to push them back, not too obviously, with your elbows. I suspect we did not make many friends but we got our visas.

Sheesha

They say that a dog is the man's best friend. Well, in Egypt, it is the sheesha that is the man's best friend.

Men smoking sheesha is a constant site in Alexandria. Almost every cafe serves sheesha and as evening gets closer these places get full with men of all ages. Men smoke sheesha outside their houses, on the balconies of their flats, next to their stalls - everywhere basically. Every morning, on my way to the Institute, I pass by a tower block where the same bloke sits every time smoking sheesha. Every time I come back, he is still there, still smoking. As I said, man's best friend...

Anti-Hebrewism

I already mentioned that I have had a few "unpleasant" experiences when the Egyptians notice that I look "hebrewish". The attitude change is immediate and stark. Two experiences really stand out.

On my second day in Egypt, a brother from the Institute and I went to a telephone shop that doubles as a photocopying place to make a copy of my passport. In the shop a young Egyptian lady was talking on the phone. She was talking so loudly I was having trouble hearing the shop-owner while standing next to him. When the lady finished her conversation, she stood up, and, upon hearing me talking in English, approached me, introduced herself in English and asked me where I was from. I said "assalam", said that it really should not matter where I was from but that I was from the UK. She said she was studying in the local Uni at the faculty of agriculture. She then asked me if I was a Muslim. I was dressed in a thobe, cap on my head and my beard is fist length. So, while running my hand through my beard, I jokingly said that I was not. I then asked her whether it was not obvious from my appearance that I was in fact a Muslim. To which she said she thought I did not pray on Friday or Sunday, but in fact I prayed on Saturdays. I told her that I pray five times a day and that I did not really get her point. She stormed out of the shop. It then dawned on me that she was implying that I was Jewish. Two minutes later she returned, and asked me again whether I understood what she meant. I said "Not really." She then said that I prayed on Saturdays because I was Israeli. I told her that Jews prayed on Saturdays and not Israelis, that not all Jews were Israelis, not all Israelis were Jews and that I was in fact Muslim. She stormed out of the shop again saying something in Arabic. The shop owner and the brother from the Institute were apologizing to me for her behaviour, and, even though I told them they had nothing to apologise for, we were all a bit phased by the incident.

The other incident was even weirder. On my way to Morocco from Egypt I was passing Egyptian passport control. The Egyptian immigration officer looked at my passport, then at me, then at my passport again. "Ah, Jew!" - he said. "Muslim," - I said. "Jew!" - he said. "Muslim," - I said. Without another word he passed my passport to his colleague and started dealing with the next person. Funny, innit.

Reality checks

In terms of reality checks, I strongly recommend to anyone having any sort of rosy impressions about life in Muslim countries (like me before I came here) to try coming to a country where they have no family to help them out and try to arrange things themselves. Wallah, I love the way of life in the UK in a way I have never loved it before. I remember when I moved to Manchester to start my first Uni. I have now done a similar thing in Egypt in terms of arranging accommodation and similar things. Oh, the difference! People here basically don't care. I mean at all. In every thing, from renting a flat to arranging a phone to trying to get an internet connection, you cannot possibly trust a single word that comes out of people's mouths. I mean it literally. But they are very polite and appear ready to help - in truth they just say what you want to hear to get rid of you, then they try to do as little work as possible. No one gives a hoot - unless they are Salafis, then things get done and quick and efficient. Which is really surprising, to be honest.

There are really negative reality checks as well.

In terms of "battle of ideologies", we, the Muslims, have lost as far as urban population in Egypt is concerned - materialism, consumerism and money rule. More so in Cairo than in Alexandria. Literally, you can see it in the eyes of every other Egyptian that enters an (expensive) mall, drives by a designer clothes shop or the way they do up the cars around here, or the fact that there is very little chance of getting married if you do not own a flat. People come up to me in the street and ask how much my rings cost and congratulate me on a good purchase. Money talks big time around here and it is a rare taxi driver who will give you the price of your journey either at the end or the beginning of it - I am yet to pay the same amount of money for the same trip. Basically, when you ask "how much?" at the end of the trip, they say "however much you wish to pay", so you offer the minimum and thereafter you are engaged in a loosing bargain up the scale.

When I got Nilesat hooked up, I realised how deeply the western culture has penetrated within the Middle East. About 50% of the channels are Islamic, news and similar stuff and the other 50% are music clips, movies (both English and own) and call-in quiz shows. The thing is - the music channels and the call-in quiz shows are pretty much soft erotica throughout - very scantly clad women or dressed in very tight clothes, posing, dancing, etc. Initially I thought that these were Lebanese channels or something but flicking through Qatari state TV channels and other Gulfi state channels - it is the same thing. Blokes dressed in traditional clothes (fully Islamic) singing Gulfi style traditional songs while half naked women doing belly dancing in front of them. I ended up blocking more than half of the channels.

The other thing is that most Egyptians would not know Shari’a or adab if it stood up and hit them in the head. They leave Islam at the door of the mosque. The mosques are very numerous and most are full for prayer, alhamdulillah. But the malls are fuller. On the street though, there is a different side to the Egyptian society that is readily apparent. They are extremely aggressive towards each other. I saw fights brake out over 2 pounds in payment for bread. Serious fights - blood and everything. A number of times people tried to cheat me either in weight or in money or by picking spoilt fruit from the tray and selling it to me instead of the nice looking stuff I was pointing at. Small amount money cheating happens all the time - I do not think they even consider it cheating, they hold back 1/2 or 1 Egyptian pound. You know, they know you know, and they smile radiantly. I bought a bus ticket to go to the airport from Alexandria - 38 Egyptian pounds. I gave 40 pounds to the guy. He gave me back change of 1 pound saying he did not have enough at the time and that I could pick up the other 1 pound when I came for the bus at 4 pm. He "forgot" to mention that he gets off work at 12 and the guy who works in the afternoon obviously did not have a clue.

There is ignorance of so many things it would take a whole different post to recount them all, but a couple of incidents did shake me a bit.

The first one happened when I was shopping in a local supermarket. A scruffy looking 10 year old boy walked in and, clutching money in his hand, asked to buy some salami and eggs. Suddenly, three grown middle-aged men, two of them working in the supermarket, started harassing and slapping the kid and telling him something about money. The kid started crying, obviously, saying "I have money, I have money!". Nonetheless, the buggers went on. I initially thought that the kid did not have enough money for everything he wanted. So I told the owner of the shop that I would pay for whatever the kid wanted. Suddenly, the blokes all went silent, pulled back, served the kid. The kid had enough money for everything, paid and walked out. I was a bit puzzled. I asked my shaikh about this. He said that the kid was most likely the son of the local doorman and that is why this happened. He told me that this was quite common. He also said that if the kid was the son of a well-to-do family no one would dare touch him, but since the kid was from poor family the police would not ever do anything.

The other thing that happened was in my first week. I was shopping for household items when I just moved into the flat. At the end an old man came up to me to offer help (for a few pennies) to load stuff into a car. The security guard, having called for back-up, moved onto the guy shouting as if there was no tomorrow. When the old man refused to back off, the security guard, a young bloke, started beating him and pushing him really hard. Soon, back up arrived, but they did not stop this - they joined in. The old man, though, managed to grab one of my bags and started taking it to the taxi. You would not believe the anger I saw in the eyes of the security guard. He only backed off after I, with the help of a Salafi brother who was with me, explained to the guard that we were cool with it and welcomed old man's help. Really harsh.

Clothes wise, I got a really strange reality check. There are loads of hijabi women and loads of full niqabi women, which is cool, alhamdulillah. The only problem is that there are so many women, young up to middle-aged, who, while wearing hijab, wear clothes so tight you wonder why they wear hijab at all. As you probably know, the national past time for men is smoking shiisha while sitting on a sidewalk. And basically it is like a theatre: women walk by - men's heads follow in
unison, plumes of smoke rising. Really surreal. Also, out of three women who asked me for money on the street, two were fully niqabed Saudi style. I asked my tajweed shaikh about this and he said that in Egypt if the woman wore niqab this basically was as likely to be cultural as religious.

In terms of positive reality checks - the hospitality of the Egyptians towards foreigners is excellent. It is beyond reproach. (Until some of them notice that you look a bit Hebrew and I had a few somewhat unfriendly run-ins). Since the moment you open your mouth and it is clear that you are an English speaking foreigner, I have had the most pleasant experiences dealing with people with a few exceptions as mentioned. The Egyptians love the US, the UK and Europe. Literally, love it.

Cultural Exchange

Any cultural experience is bound to teach you a few lessons and impart a couple of reality checks to a varying degree. Moving to Egypt for a year to study Arabic is probably at the top of such a scale. I have definitely learned a few lessons and have had a number of major reality checks. In some way this is what this blog is about – an aide de memoir for the time when I am safely back to the comforts of home in the UK.

The very first lesson is that you cannot possibly rely on an Egyptian to keep any sort of appointment whatsoever, unless:

1. He is coming to get his money from you (i.e. not on someone else's
behalf) - in which case he would come early
2. He is a hardcore Salafi, in which case he is always on time
3. You bother his mother for three days beforehand, in which case she will make sure he would come on time (or close) so that you do not bother her anymore

A few experiences stand out.

I found a flat to rent. There were a couple of things wrong with it - gas was leaking, toilet plumbing was leaking, boiler was not working and the telephone was not connected. A standard clause in the Egyptian rental contract is that when you move in, you take it as if everything is working and you have to pay for anything, literally anything -
structural or otherwise - broken at the end of the rental period. So, there was about two hours of work that needed doing around the flat. The Landlord told me that he would have everything fixed on the day I was signing the contract. By the end of that day, he only managed to clean the flat and nothing else. The rest was fixed over the period of two weeks - the handyman would come in, usually about 5 hours after the appointed time (all appointments were usually set for Asr prayer time, and the guy would usually turn up either after Maghreb or after Isha), look around, fiddle with the boiler or toilet or telephone and then would tell me that he would finish "tomorrow". "Tomorrow" has a very flexible meaning in Egyptian society, as I came to learn. It basically means "at some point in the future". All in all - two hours of work stretched over two weeks. Fun to say the least - having a
shower with water boiled on the stove is interesting, but not as interesting as not being able to use the toilet :)

Another time I had to go to the telephone exchange to fix my phone line. I arranged with a brother from the Institute where I study to come and help me. I had an exam the same day. He told me he would come in 10 minutes, so I packed my stuff and sat around waiting. Ten minutes pass, twenty, thirty, an hour. He calls me. Tells me he was busy and would be in my place in 10 minutes. So I sit around waiting again. An hour later, he is still not there. As I walk out of my flat, he turns up. :) "Sorry mate!" situation. I was 20 minutes late for the exam as a result.

Arrival in Egypt - first impressions

I arrived in Egypt on 2nd November 2008.

The absolutely first thing I got to say is that Egypt is totally mad. It is like another world - I have been here over a month now and the contrasts with the British way of life are so enormous and regular that you would be forgiven for thinking that you have found yourself on another planet. A planet that is an absolutely surreal parody on what most people living in the West would regard as "normal" - of course the ever present Vodafone billboard gives it away and you know that you are on Earth. (The penetration of the Western brands into the Egyptian society is another story all together and I hope to cover it in some later posts.)

It is this surrealism, as well as my wife's advice to keep a record of my stay and a brother's advice to write up my experiences in the form of a blog, that are the origin of this blog.

I have been to Egypt before - a few years back I have visited Cairo and Sharm el-Shaikh with my parents and my brother. The two most vivid things I remember from that previous visit are Cairo's traffic and the site of pyramids towering beyond the city as we drove towards them. Well, I have not seen the pyramids this time but my view of the way the Egyptians drive did not get any better. The thing to note is that the Egyptians appear to lack any concept of driving in a straight line. any notion of a Highway Code and have the ability to warp space so as to fit 6 cars on a three lane road. As my taxi took me towards Alexandria, we drove through Cairo during peak time - jam packed roads, pedestrians crossing without any regard for their lives and the drivers not even bothering to slow down to let a pedestrian pass. I was to learn later that this is a very common practice in Egypt - even if the cars are stuck in a traffic jam, even if the driver can only move half a meter, he or she will not slow down to let you pass - he or she will drive that half a meter almost kissing the bumper of the next car, but you will have to go around his car. I have driven in many countries of the world, but I would not even consider driving in Cairo during peak time.

The other thing to note is that Cairo is extremely polluted. The smog is such that you cannot see buildings in the relatively short distance. You can see shapes and contours so you know a building is there, but alas you cannot actually see it. As an asthmatic, the fact that every breath is tinged with a taste of exhaust is a concern. The picture on the left was taken around 9 am. The sun is up. You would be forgiven for thinking the heavy rain clouds are assembling for an afternoon storm.

I am not an expert on environment so I do not know what are the precise causes of pollution are in Cairo, but I am sure at least partially it is due to the massive amount of old bangers on the roads. My Arabic language Sheikh later explained to me that in Egypt, the older cars are highly prized by the population. This is because the when an older car breaks down it can be fixed at a local mechanic's shop - broken parts mended or repaired and cheap parts are available should a replacement be required. With a newer cars, the situation is different because, when they break down, parts, such as computer and other electrical components, have to be replaced outright, and that is very expensive.

Another interesting thing I learned is the astronomical costs of cars in Egypt. For example, according to my Arabic language Sheikh, the cost of an old, bearly working Lada, being probably the worst car in the world, and one fairly widely in use in Egypt, would average about 20,000 Egyptian Pounds. That is slightly more than £2,000. In the UK, you would probably have to pay someone to buy it off you! Last time I bought a Lada in the UK it cost me slightly under £600 and it was fairly new. By the way, if you are thinking "here's a great business opportunity for a budding car importing entrepreneur" - forget it. Apparently, the duty is something like 200%, which is why they are so expensive in the first place. The Egyptian Government considers a car a luxury item which people do not really need - hence the size of the duty. In a way this is understandably - if the car prices were on par with UK or Germany I think this country's roads would choke to a standstill, or the Egytians would be the first to invent flying cars. Speaking about flying cars, when I commented to my Sheikh about the way the Egyptians drove, he told me that there are no drivers in Egypt, there are only pilots. I was laughing till my stomach was in pain...

As we drove towards the Alexandria, the sky started turning blue and the all obstructing grey mist faded away. Egypt is a beautiful country. Rolling vistas, desert, army bases with rusting MiGs on pedistals. All the usual sights a man sees when he drives through countryside.

A small note on superb Egyptian hospitality to finish this post. The drive to Alexandria from Cairo takes between 4 to 5 hours. After 19 hour trip getting into Cairo, and continually consuming water due to oppressive heat, I was understandably very vulnerable to unpredictable calls of nature. We stopped at a petrol station just outside of Cairo. Afterwards, I fell asleep in the car on the way to Alexandria and woke up somewhere close to Alexandria with a sudden realisation that the bubble would imminently burst. I asked the driver to stop for a toilet. He cheerfully agreed and drove past about 10 petrol stations without even a hint of slowing down. My face must have been the expression of utter disbelief and panic, because, having glanced at me, he explained that he did not forget about my request, but, as I was a guest in his country, he would only permit me to use clean "Western" toilets and would not stop at just any station with a hole in the ground. 20 minutes later we arrived at a mall at which point I was contemplating whether I would suffer from internal explosion on the first day of my trip. I have never in my life been so relieved to visit a toilet as I was at that moment.

We arrived in Alexandria in the early afternoon. I settled in in temporary accommodation and promptly fell asleep thinking, of all things I could've be thinking of, of Road Chef motorway services back home.